Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
