this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
