At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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