xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
