We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
