No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
