Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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