I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
