Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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