I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
