Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
