I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
