Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
