If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
