I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
zippers are such a cool invention
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
