I cockslap morals
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
