i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
