Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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