What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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