it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
