i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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