would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you win again, gameday.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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