he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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