well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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