I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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