He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize