We're like a lot better than the average bears
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
