No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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