that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
