I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize