Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
