I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
