is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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