he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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