i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
babies were throwing up all over the place
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
