just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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