Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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