Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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