I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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