May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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