Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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