All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His nipple licking is glorious
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