I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
