tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
