Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize