i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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