Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
