After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
