you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
