U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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