He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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