Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
