The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
