Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its about making memories worth repressing
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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