i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
