He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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