Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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