I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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