The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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