Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
