my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
