He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
