She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
