His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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