We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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