did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
