I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
