what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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