hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
