U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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