And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
